Alcoholic backseat trinkets

Act 4: If anyone wants to tell me what's going on here, I'll be in the lounge

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Poetry slam. (Jam. slam.)

For Carl LOL

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
pop culture, pampered hysterical paranoid,
calling 911 for getting the wrong burger, being stuck
in traffic, or being unable to get McNuggets,
robbing banks with bb guns and attempting to get away
on a moped, in order to build street cred for
a rap career they didn't have yet,
retarded assholes thinking that Patton fought for
their right to not get yelled at when they
voice an unpopular opinion in a beauty
who rioted whenever their favorite talk-show host
gave out coupons for free chicken, even though
they had plenty of money to buy chicken,
who thought that apostrophe's were what you put in
front of all word's and sentence's that ended
in ''s"',
who decided to actually become superheroes, dressing
up in capes and masks to save the festering
megalopolis that is... Cincinnati,
who thought it might be a good idea to cast Ice-T as
a magical, farting hip-hop mule,
who cut off people's heads and then took pictures of
it with their cell phone, then drove around
with it on them even though they were an
illegal immigrant with an expired license and
a SUV full of cocaine,
who let their babies get up and preach in church,
even though it was far too young to understand
what it was doing there, and far too young to
say anything about a God it can't even
comprehend yet,
who, instead of protesting to put an end to war and
giving their lives in the process, decided
to just get drunk and cried when rubber
bullets made them go home,
who decided to get artificially injected with eight
kids they couldn't care for even though they
already had six, thinking they'd get a
reality show,
who ran over people with cars while drunk driving
and then went to jail, asking their family if
they could maybe get a reality show,
who attempted to extort hospitals and schools and
then blithely lied about it, even though he
was caught on tape, knowing that if he didn't
get a reality show, his wife would,
who seriously considered getting a mustache tattooed
permanently on their finger so that they could
stick it up under their nose and pretend they
had a mustache, instead of just growing a
stash they could easily shave off,
who ate burgers that were really big donuts with
burgers inside them, and who fried coke syrup
and then put fake whipped cream on THAT, and
who had so little respect for hunger that they
made a bra out of enough bacon to feed a
starving African for a week,
who finally got to hold a gun to their teacher's head
and couldn't think of anything to do than make
her say, "Hail Marilyn Manson," and she didn't,
and shot and missed anyway, then decided maybe
their rage wasn't that awesome anyway and went
into a bathroom stall and killed themselves
except they didn't.

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TOTALLY BRILLIANT!!! ROFL! I fell asleep listening to Howl read by Alan Ginsberg last week.(I don't suggest you attempt that!)

Ooh! That must have made for interesting dreams!

You are a genius.

Unlock so I can link? Please?

Edited to choose the best possible icon.

Edited at 2009-05-20 11:12 am (UTC)

Yeah, I'm unlocking. Thanks! :D

I love this. It's far better than the parody of John Donne's "The Flea" I once wrote (called "The John").

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